News Flash

A few months ago I posted about getting married on August 1, 2009. However there was a change of plans due to personal reasons that I would rather not post about for the whole world to read. Anyway, Jonathan and I prayed faithfully about getting married which lead us to a romantic elopement on October 25, 2009 in Florida followed by a wonderful seven day cruise on Holland America. We had a great time on the cruise and touring the islands we visited. I have to give Jonathan all the credit as I would never want to marry me (lol). Jonathan has been very patient, thoughtful, forgiving and understanding with me and my baggage I bring into the relationship.

His smile melts my heart!

Words can not describe how much I love my sweet baby boy-

I want a snack!

Carson asked for a snack yesterday and I replied what do you want?
He said, hmmm a peanut, jelly and butter sawnwich. I wanted him to say it again, so I replied What? He said, Mom a peanut, jelly and butter sawnwich.

Last call for rides 2009

Today was super Sunday at the wildwood boardwalk. Only one pier was open out of three however there were plenty of rides for Carson to enjoy. The pier was open from 11-5 for $20.00 rides all day, free face painting, games, ect. My parents met us on the pier and they loved watching Carson ride the rides. The weather was perfect! The sun was shining bright and there was a little breeze off the ocean. We have been going to super Sunday every year since Carson came home (God willing we will continue). As I have mentioned in previous post, we love the boardwalk. Matter of fact we love everything about the boardwalk- trendy stores, curly fries, Sam's pizza, ice cream, rides, people watching (and you see ALL types), and most of all spending time with family and friends. Maybe one day some of my blog friends will join us- the invitation is open!

melt down city

Last night Carson had a hour melt down (Yes, a full blown hour)at bed time. In the course of his temper he said to me, "Mommy, I do not want to be in your heart anymore!"

Its going to break my ear

Let me set the stage-
Yesterday Carson attended his first "school field trip" to the local fire house.

So, today as we were driving to school, Carson was in the back seat eating blueberries and says:

Carson: Mom call the fire house and tell them not to blow the horn.
Mommy: Why Carson?
Carson: because its going to break my ear again.
Mommy: OK
Carson: call Mommy

I pick up the cell phone and pretend to dial the fire house

Mommy: Hello fire house, please do not blow the horn because its going to break Carson's ear. OK, Thanks fire house. ( I hang up the phone).
Carson: Mom, what did they say?
Mommy: they said they will not blow the horn.

As I looked in the rear view mirror, Carson gives me a smirk and went back to eating his blueberries.

snake and an artist-

Last week we went to a little fall party down the street from our home. Carson enjoyed the hayride, pumpkin painting and Mommy having a snake placed around my neck. Yes, it was a huge snake! I played it cool even though I was completely grossed out-

Hmm good!

No that is not his soda! No soda for Carson!!

No, this was not a staged photo-

Carson loves to take a bath with his "gooogles" and cars (look at the way he lines the cars up, a little OCD?!)

Mrs. Patti

Mrs. Patti has a certified in home day care center. She not only provides day care to children she also gives a lot of emotional support to parents. She is a wealth of knowledge when it comes to behaviour and needs of children.
Mrs. Patti was Carson's child care provider since he came home from Guatemala. She gave Carson so much love and attention. It was a very hard decision to make the change from Mrs. Patti's to the new christian preschool. However she gave my mind ease as she told me he would be fine, he is ready for a challenge, and he is very gifted. I was still nervous as I knew she gave him the extra TLC he needed and more.
I will be forever grateful for Mrs. Patti and I'm very thankful for all she did for me and Carson.

Carson in action at preschool

Carson started at a montessori christian preschool three weeks ago. The first day of preschool was perfect. The next day Carson's separation anxiety kicked in. After we hung up his coat in the morning he wraps his body around my leg as I try to walk, he starts saying "do not leave", very softly he starts crying and it gets louder the closer we walk to his classroom. We have about a ten minute goodbye, 15 plus kissing and at least 20 hugs. As I peel him off of me and I walk away I can hear him crying and calling "I want my Mommy". My heart is heavy and my eyes are filled with tears but I know he will settle in. I call to check on him and the Director always says, "he is fine, he stopped crying within minutes, it will get easier for you". Fast forward eight hours as I walk into his classroom he runs quickly over to me with his arms open giving me a big hug and tells me all about his day.

Surfer in Clothes?!

Carson is 3 going on 20!

Where does my little boy get his statements from? Hmmm, maybe his Mommy?!

Mom what's the point?
Are you serious?
Mommy, I am so grossed out!
Oh, that's so cool.
Can I have four cookies instead?
What the heck is wrong?
Hey, car go faster before we run you over?
Come on.
Mommy, are you looking at a blog?

What can I say?

First day of preschool

Today was the first day of preschool for Carson. He was accepted into our local christian montessori school which is five minutes from my work. I was talking about his new school all weekend and trying to get him excited however, he really did not seem to care. As we walked into the new school Carson and I prayed together. He kept saying to me, "this is my new school, Mommy?" The teachers all greeted him as we walked through the door and he replied, "Hi friends, this is my Mommy." After a few moments he was occupied with the train set and off I went. I called the school twice to check on him and both times they said he was fine.
Fastforward 8 1/2 hours (yes that right)as I picked him up I said how was school? Carson said, "it was amazing!"

Three years ago today-

My paper work was submitted to the adoption agency, my home adoption inspection was completed, all payments were up to date and I was anxiously waiting for my referral. On September 6, 2006 as I was sitting in church during family announcement time, a dear family friend made an announcement that her daughter (who I grew up with) had a baby boy. As I sat there I was happy for her however I was very eager and patiently waiting for my baby. I remember trying to pay attention to Sunday's message but my mind was somewhere else. Matter of fact, my mind was thousands of miles away in dream land. I was wondering what the heck is taking so long for my referral, what is he or she going to look like, healthy, smart, etc?
I was not trusting the Lord. Little did I know the Lord was working a miracle in Guatemala City. A middle age Mayan lady was giving birth to a healthy, beautiful son. The lady was faced with a major decision, to keep her son and struggle or give her son a better life in the states. I can not even imagine her feelings that day however I will always be thankful for her decision. Needless to say my sweet baby boy was born and my life has never been the same.

Carson, below I listed a few things you are doing at three years old

You talk in complete sentences.
You can count to ten in English and Spanish.
You love to swim and play all types of sports.
You are very loving to animals (except hermit crabs-yikes).
You know most of your colors and shapes.
When you have sugar (not often) you are a completely different boy (in the negative way).
You love to talk to strangers.
You are still kicking and hitting at times.
You tell people that Jesus is in your heart.
You love to go on rides at the boardwalk.
Your temper is wild at times.
Match box cars are your favorite toy of all
You are extremely independent and STRONG willed.
status-
28 lbs
size 18 months pants
24 months shirt
size 6 shoe
Happy Birthday sweet baby boy!

Carson's 3rd birthday party

A few weekends ago we celebrated Carson's 3rd birthday. His actual birthday is September 6 however I wanted to have a summer pool party for him so we celebrated little early. Carson picked the theme for his party, Cars. We had the party food catered from Famous Dave's BBQ, and an awesome birthday cake from the Cake Lady. The swimming pool was filled with kids and parents. Carson was showing off his swimming moves. He is such a fish in the water. The bouncy was a huge hit. The kids loved jumping in it including his Uncle Joey. On Carson's invitation we asked for no gifts. My little guy has more than enough but gifts were still brought. He received some really nice presents. Carson's birthday was a lot of fun and the weather was perfect. I do wish my blog buddies lived closer so they could have celebrated with us.

wow- its been that long?

Thank you to my blog friends for checking on me. Yes, I am fine. I needed to take a break from blogging. We have been busy enjoying the last month of summer. Carson has had his fair share of swimming in my parent's pool and riding the amusement rides on the Ocean City and Wildwood boardwalks.

I have a kicker, hitter and biter

What the heck happened to my sweet baby boy? He has turned into a little 2 1/2 year old terror. Carson is kicking, hitting and biting people. Wow! This weekend Jonathan and I thought we were in the boxing ring as we were ducking, dodging and blocking Carson. The word NO, the time out chair, and threats did not work. Matter of fact, nothing worked, we tried to get his attention by looking at books, playing with his toys, etc.- nothing absolutely nothing worked! Once again a few years ago, I remember thinking, my kid will never kick, hit or bite, why can't they get their kid under control? Well, now its my kid. Why can't I get him under control?
I pray its 'just' his age and this to shall pass. I hope so!

His love

July's trip to Guatemala. I have been trying to put my thoughts into words regarding my latest trip to Guatemala. The basic thoughts are: the weather was beautiful and the company was awesome! However, the Lord really spoke to me while we were strolling the streets of Guatemala, sitting/playing with the kids, working at HP and haggling for souvenirs; the Lord is so loving and his timing is perfect. The Lord revealed this to me many times. First, meeting Becca and Angela- those two ladies have hearts like I have never seen before. They are so giving and caring for the children and adults in Guatemala. They came with suitcases filled to the hilt with medication, food, shoes, school supplies, etc. for Dick Rutgers. They also handed out food and candy in central park and on the streets to children and adults. Their love is amazing. Second, the children in HP have created a deep place within my heart. About twenty years ago, if you told me I would be working with handicapped children or anyone with a disability I would have ran the other way. I had a phobia of anyone who "looked different". Wow, the lord can really work miracles. Please do not get me wrong, I am not completely over my phobia however I can control it a little better. Last, the children and adults in central park are so much fun. We sat on the benches for hours haggling over souvenirs and giving out candy. Cute story- I got some sun burn on my legs. One little girl realized she could press her hand on my leg and pick her hand up quickly, my leg would turn white with an outline of her hand on it. The next thing I knew, there were at least six little hands on my legs pressing down and laughing really hard (Becca and Angela also thought it was funny).
Anyway, The Lord is so amazing and his love is indescribable. I want to build a strong relationship with him. I want to show my love like he showed me in Guatemala. I want to be more like him.

I've been home from Guatemala less than 24 hours

and already planning my next trip there. I'll post about my recent trip to Guatemala once I take a nap.

Summer is flying by

I can not believe we are in the second week of July already. Wow! Anyway, we have been a very busy family. We are enjoying the beautiful weather, parents pool, horses the boardwalk and of course family time. On Saturday, Carson and I met Ava and Donna for the first time at the County park. Ava is from Guatemala as well and is three days older than Carson. Ava and Carson were very cute together however, Carson turned into a typical 'almost three year old' as it got closer to his nap time. (Donna, he his normally a very well mannered little fellow.)Saturday evening Jonathan and I went out to dinner in Atlantic City with Kelly and Ryan. We had a delicious dinner at Cuba Libre. The food and company was great however, Jonathan and I were preoccupied with wondering if Carson was ok since he was home with Noah. We were checking our phones or texting to make sure things were ok on the home front. Sometimes, well most of the time, its hard for me to relax when Carson is home with a babysitter. Anyway, the count down is on for my trip to Guatemala next week. I really feel its my home away from home. I am so in love with the people and country-Please pray for Jonathan since he will be home with Carson while I am away.

Too cute

Yesterday Carson asked if he could go to, Chucky Jesuses (Chucky Cheese) for the day.

Carson told me this morning he wanted, chubby charms (lucky charms) for breakfast.

Happy 4th

Yuck!

Jonathan and I were busy fixing the horse fences, while Carson took off his shoes and socks and jumped head first in the mud puddle. Wow, is that boy fast!
I had my camera in my pocket due to taking photos of a horse I had for sale. I could not help but take a few quick photos of Carson jumping in the puddle before I hosed him down (wow, do I sound like a hick). He was covered from head to toe with mud however loving every minute of it.

The truth-

I struggle each and every day with the verse below. Its been many painful years however, I still can not fully forgive- Please pray for me!

June 27, 2009
When You Pray, Give God Your Hurts
by Rick Warren

"If you forgive others the wrongs they have done to you, your Father in heaven will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive the wrongs you have done" (Matthew 6:14-15 TEV).

In your life, you will be hurt by others; sometimes intentionally, sometimes unintentionally. How you handle that hurt determines your happiness. When you bottle up hurt in your life and hold onto it, that is called resentment. If somebody hurt you years ago and you're still holding onto it, it will poison your life. For your own health and happiness, you must learn to forgive.

The Bible says forgive and be forgiven. In fact, Jesus says, "If you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive the wrongs you have done" (Matthew 6:15 TEV). They're inter-related. It reminds me of the story where someone told John Wesley, the founder of Methodism, "I just can't forgive that person! They hurt me too badly." Wesley's response was, "Then I hope you never sin."

For your own sake, let go of the past. If somebody hurt you, let go of it, release them. That's one of the values of prayer. It helps you unload. Forgiveness is the only way to get rid of the past. Forgive them and let it go. Get on with life. Forgiveness erases the videotape of that hurt memory that keeps playing over and over in your mind.

In my own marriage, the times I've felt closest to Kay, the times of most intimacy and oneness, have been times after a major blow up. We've worked the thing through, we've both confessed to each other and asked forgiveness, and then we pray together. The oneness that comes out of that kind of experience just can't be explained.

When we let go of our hurts and forgive others, we are reflecting the grace of our heavenly Father who forgave us and continues to forgive us. It means we've given God our love; we've given God our lives, and, in doing that, we worship God.

Every picture tells a story-

Going back

to Guatemala in July. Oh, I can not wait! Stay tuned for more details...

June 3, 2009

We celebrated Carson's 2 year forever family day on June 3, 2009. I can not believe how fast time has gone since we were united two years ago. The weeks leading up to our anniversary date I was filled with emotions and memories. I had emotions of pure joy and pure sadness. The joy comes from all the blessings Carson has brought me and my family. The sadness comes from deep within my heart for his birth Mother and Father. With that being said, I give God all the glory for bring Carson into my life. As I have written before the road was rough and the heartache was brutal but the gift (Carson) is a dream! I love my sweet baby boy so stinkin much he makes my heart sing. I can not get enough of him!

Wordless Wedneday