Monday, December 31, 2012

Carson's top ten for 2012

It feels like last night I was writing Carson's top ten for 2011.  Anyway, I've been reflecting about 2012 for the past few days.  Carson has matured into a young boy.  Yes, we still have our issues with his strong will outburst and unwillingness to listen the first time, second time and third time; however we have made huge strides as a family.  He continues to amaze me with his tender heart.  He has a heart to help, serve and love people. 

Top 10 for 2012

10. He started taking sign language classes.
9. He was in a play.
8. He learned how to ski.
7. He went to more girl birthday parties then boys. (haha)
6. He learned the hard way- when your not nice to an animal it will be returned.
5. He learned how to roller blade.
4. He lost two teeth.
3. He played two recreation sports.
2. He learned/asked more about his family in Guatemala.
1. He confessed to accept Jesus to live in his heart. AMEN!

Weight: 42 lbs
Height: 47 inches
Pants: 4t (5t if there is an adjustable waste band)
Shirt: 5t
shoes: 11


Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Merry Christmas

Just a few photos of Christmas morning.  I will post more later on. May we celebrate the birth of our Lord.  Give thanks with a greatful heart!

Monday, December 24, 2012

I love this song

Met my old lover in a grocery store
The snow was falling Christmas Eve
Stole behind her in the frozen foods
and I touched her on the sleeve
She didn't recognize the face at first
but then her eyes flew open wide
Tried to hug me and she spilled her purse
and we laughed until we cried
Took her groceries to the checkout stand
The food was totaled up and bagged
stood there lost in our embarrassment
as the conversation dragged
Went to have ourselves a drink or two
but couldn't find an open bar
Bought a six-pack at the liquor store
and we drank it in her car
We drank a toast to innocence, we drank a toast to now
Tried to reach beyond the emptiness but neither one knew how
She said she'd married her an architect
Kept her warm and safe and dry

She said she'd like to say she loved the man
but she didn't want to lie
I said the years had been a friend to her
and that her eyes were still as blue
But in those eyes I wasn't sure if I saw doubt or gratitude
She said she saw me in the record store
and that I must be doing well
I said the audience was heavenly
but the traveling was hell
We drank a toast to innocence we drank a toast to time
We're living in our eloquence, another old lang syne
The beers were empty and our tongues grew tired
and running out of things to say
She gave a kiss to me as I got out
and I watched her drive away
Just for a moment I was back in school
And felt that old familiar pain
And as I turned to make my way back home
the snow turned into rain

Saturday, December 22, 2012

Christmas gifts

from the heart.  Carson wanted to make a few Christmas gifts for his Best and Aunt Elizabeth
(Joey's wife).   I have a little artist on my hands.  He sat at the kitchen table painting for one hour.  He talked a little however he told me he needed to focus. 

Thursday, December 20, 2012

I can not

get into wrapping Christmas gifts.  UGH!

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Progress report

for the second marking period arrived in Carson's folder today.  He needs to improve in: works quietly, follows rules, gets along with others, participates in class.  The comment from his teacher: Carson has shown great progress in his academics!  He is working hard and usually does his best on his seat work.  He needs to work on being kind to others and not be so physical.  I do see him making efforts to improve in these areas.  I am proud of his progress.


Sunday, December 16, 2012

We have entered into

the world of NO at our house.  Every other word that comes out of Greta Rebecca's mouth is NO, NO, NO even when she means to say Yes.  It was cute in the beginning and now....
Anyway, Carson said, "Mommy, can we please teach her another word besides no."  haha.  Greta Rebecca says about 15 words already.  My girl is growing up way too fast.

This weekend was very busy for Carson.  Friday night was his Christmas concert for school which was cute.  His class sang two songs in sign language which was beautiful.  He did a great job.  On Saturday night, he was involved with a live nativity event at his school.  Greta Rebecca and Jonathan enjoyed the event as well.  I was busy inside the school serving cookies and hot chocolate. 

As I sit at the computer and write about Carson and Greta Rebecca my heart is heavy for the parents in Connecticut.  I can not wrap my mind around what happened at Sandy Hook School.  The only thing I can do is pray for eveyone involved.  But I will admit I am nervous about dropping Carson off at school tomorrow.  I already call the school once or twice a day now to see how he is doing ( Yes I am one of those parents).  I will do whatever it takes to make me feel comfortable and safe with him being at school.  Carson and I had a heart to heart today about the incident that occurred in Connecticut.  I did not go into a lot of detail however I explained to him that he had to listen carefully if the teachers tell him to hide, duck, or run.  He looked at me with wide eyes and said, "Ok".  I have to put my trust in God that everything will be ok.  But you never know....


Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Here we are on 12-12-12

We are home alone tonight as Jonathan is out Christmas shopping and Shauna is in Fla with the school band.

Monday, December 10, 2012

The Christmas Gift that always satisfies

In the midst of the hustle and bustle and craziness of this season, I feel the need to just recalibrate myself to what is truly important about the holiday.  While I love the decorations, lights, smells, songs, gift-giving, church services, and family time, I find they can so easily distract me from keeping in focus the One who provides these things for our enjoyment. 

Sunday, December 9, 2012

another cute conversation with Carson

I lost my truck keys.
I can not find my truck keys.
What the heck?

Mommy, think back to where you last had them.

I think I had them in the truck last.

Yes, Mommy you would need your keys to drive your truck.  I think you should look there first because that would be a smart decision.

Mommy, I love babies.
Me too, Carson.

Mommy, can you have another baby from your belly?

Mommy, I will pray for another baby because if you want something you just have to ask God.
With tears...thanks Carson

Mommy, do not cry.
ok, Carson

Mommy, I will ask God for another baby and I will ask him to wipe your tears.
Let's hug it out Mommy.


Thursday, December 6, 2012

The below was posted in the hotel lobby in Guatemala. 

                                           My KY girl Becca. 

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

In your anger do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent. Psalm 4:4


has entered my life once again. 

Monday, December 3, 2012

Carson's Christmas list

1. Red DS 3d
2. Roller blades
3. Bike
4. scooter
5. tv for his bedroom
6. telescope
7. dry erase board
8. games for his DS

not a toy on his list   :(

Carson said...
Mommy, I have an idea.  Email and all the kids that do not have a Mom or a Dad will now have a babysitter.  On care. com you can buy a babysitter or nanny.  I think that would make a great christmas gift.


Saturday, December 1, 2012

Its not a perfect world but we will meet one day

Well Rachel Jean- if it was a perfect world you would be 4 weeks old today.  I can still hear your heartbeat echoing through my ears.  I frequently look at your ultrasound photos which brings me to tears that you are not with us however I know you are perfect in heaven.  Rachel I would have never wanted you to suffer.  Yes there are many different levels of Turners syndrome. however the way the testing came back you would have really suffered in life physically and mentally.  I would never, ever want that for you.  With that being said, it does not make the pain any easier nor my desire to have you in my life any less.  What gives me hope is one day we will be together.  Until then you will continue to grow in my heart.  I love you my angel girl. 

Why did we pick the name Rachel?  Its from the bible of-course
Love conquers all
It was love at first sight for Rachel and Jacob, but there was no 'happy ending' for them.
Rachel found it hard to conceive and Jacob's other wives, though less loved, were more fertile;
they had ten sons. Rachel bore Joseph but died in childbirth when her second son Benjamin was born. These twelve sons were the forefathers of the Twelve Tribes of Israel.
Her middle name Jean-
My mom's middle name and Jonathan's grandmother's first name

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

my little girl

Photo: Greta growing up so fast

Monday, November 26, 2012

Party pictures

A few photos from my family birthday party on Sunday.  
Carson and Greta Rebecca helping me blow out the candles.

                                          My new cycling bike for long distances.  YAY!
                                              Greta Rebecca enjoying the ice cream cake

                                                       Two of my favorite people. 

Sunday, November 25, 2012


Dear Mommy,

On your birthday, I just want to say I love you and I will be your best friend always.  I will be your best sidekick.  You are the best mommy ever.  But most of all, I love mommy best.  And there are just tears.  I hope you can take me to the park and play.  Oh yeah, and I like the way that your house is made and I pray that one day I can get you some flowers.  The end.


Carson (aka Ohmee)

typed by Jonathan .  Word by word spoken from Carson

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Hockey game in AC

On a date with my lovely wife.  Operation Hat Trick hockey game in AC

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

wordless wednesday

Photo: Mommy and Carson

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

How many pairs of shoes do you have?

The children below are lucky to have one pair of shoes which are either falling apart, three sizes to small or three sizes to big.  Thank you for the donated shoes.  You made someones feet happy.



Sunday, November 18, 2012

Mama said there'll be days like this,

There'll be days like this Mama said
(Mama said, mama said)
Mama said there'll be days like this,
There'll be days like this my Mama said
(Mama said, mama said)

For those of you who really do not know me, I love song lyrics.  When someone talks or writes I try to find different song lyrics to their statements.  Anyway, today was a "Mama said there'll be days like this, Mama said"  I was in a pure funk, Carson and Cinderella are starting to get colds, Carson had multiple melt downs and Cinderella wanted me to hold her all day.  I normally do not mind the melt downs or holding Cinderella all day but today was not the day. 
The funk is starting to get the best of me.  As I have written about so many times before I dislike when it gets dark before 5:00pm, the trees being bare and layering the clothes on just to feed the horses.  So what is my funk called "Seasonal affective disorder" my physician said, "Gret, if you take X you will feel better; you struggle with this every fall/winter."  After giving it much thought, I am going to pass again this year on X.  Prior to being a Mommy, I used to come home from work, take care of the horses, shower, and was in bed no later than 7pm during the winter months.  Now I am forced to stay up and take care of the children.  I guess that is not a bad thing since I love being a Mommy. Well, I am going to take me and my funky self to bed :)

Friday, November 16, 2012

sign, sign everywhere a sign

Signs, Signs lyrics
And the sign said long haired freaky people need not apply
So I tucked my hair up under my hat and I went in to ask him why
He said you look like a fine upstanding young man, I think you'll do
So I took off my hat I said imagine that, huh, me working for you


Sign Sign everywhere a sign
Blocking out the scenery breaking my mind
Do this, don't do that, can't you read the sign

And the sign said anybody caught trespassing would be shot on sight
So I jumped on the fence and yelled at the house, Hey! what gives you the right
To put up a fence to keep me out or to keep mother nature in
If God was here, he'd tell you to your face, man you're some kinda sinner

Sign Sign everywhere a sign
Blocking out the scenery breaking my mind

What do you think: Libya, the stock market, the Middle East and now the Twinkie....
Is that a sign?  Think about it.  Read your bible-

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Wordless Wednesday

Monday, November 12, 2012

This boy

The other night I took Carson to the township recreation center for skating.  He thinks he is the stuff.  At first he was a bit shy but within minutes he was out there getting his groove on. 

Saturday, November 10, 2012

I felt the earth move under my feet in Guatemala

What is that?  What is happening?  Can you make it stop?  These were the three questions that came nervously out of my mouth last Wednesday while in Guatemala.  Let me set the scene... it was a beautiful fall morning.  The sun was bright and the air was a bit on the cool side.  Jonathan, Becca, and I walked into the orhanage that had a distinct smell that brought back memories from months and years past.  As we walked closer to the children wards we picked up our step a little with excitement as we anticipated seeing the children.  After being greeted by the nurses and other volunteers on the ward we exchanged hugs and pleasant words.  We were eager to see our favorite children without saying anything to the others.  Some of the children have made great strides while other children are becoming more dependent upon the workers, their bodies twisted in ways I can not describe and some have gone on to heaven which is very bittersweet.  Fast forward a few hours, we were all feeding the children their mid-morning bottle and once again exchanging pleasant words to each other.  All the conversations that morning were very upbeat with light laughter in the air.  Bec was over in the older girls ward and Jonathan was seated in the chair feeding a child newer to the orhanage who was a very, very slow feeder.  As I finished feeding one of the little boys I started walking over to the desk to see who else needed to be fed when I felt this uncomfortable shaking.  For a split second I did not think twice about it because at times my sugar goes low and I get a little shaky.  But this was a different type of shaking, because it did not stop.  I looked at Jonathan and muttered out "What is that?" He had a stunned look on his face before he could get a word out of his mouth.  I looked at our friend Lesley and said in a very nervous voice "What is happening?" with nurses running in circles and their conversations loud and anxious.  Lesley replied in her British accent "Its an earthquake. Oh Crap!" The concrete walls were shaking, the tin roof was moving like a wave.  At first the nurses told us to get the kids out of the ward quickly and then they shifted thought and said keep them in place.  I was standing next to Jonathan asking him to "make it stop."  Many thoughts were flashing through my mind: my kids, what if the walls fall on us, how are we going to protect all these helpless children, and what if I die, how will they identify me.  During the course of this flood of thoughts the shaking of the ground intensified and I was freaking out inside.  A few minutes later which seemed like a few hours the shaking stopped.  I was frozen in place as the chatter in the ward became very excitable as the nurses and volunteers were sharing their fears.  The children did not seem bothered nor worried.  Bec proceeded back into our ward with a ghost white face and quivering lips. Bec was expressing her concerns and fears regarding the earthquake.  The rest of the staff were busy talking about the "after shock" which could be worse if and when it happened.  The remaining part of the day was shot for me.  Everywhere we went people were talking about their fears regarding the earthquake.  Furthermore, they were discussing the Red Alert the President placed on Guatemala because of the potential effects of an after shock.  We headed back to the hotel room to notify our family members that we were ok and there was no internet or phone service.  Needless to say, we were able to contact someone who was able to contact my parents regarding our well being.  As I look back on the 7.4 earthquake I realize that some things are completely out of my control and there is not a darn thing I can do about it.  That's not a good feeling! 

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

No Halloween

for NJ tonight.  Halloween has been postponed to November 5 thanks to Hurricane Sandy.
Below are recent photos of the damage around our area.

Photo: 59th Street Sea Isle
Photo: Stone Harbor Blvd.Photo: Damage from docks and bulkeads located behind homes along Sunset Lake.

Photo: #njsandy The ferris wheel on Funtown Pier in Seaside is still standing. Photo by Tim Husar.
Photo: Bay Ave
Ocean City NJ
Photo: #njsandy The iconic Lucy the Elephant in Margate survived! (Photo: Patrick Armstrong via NEWSWORKS' Jen Miller)

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Having fun at Kimberly's wedding


Monday, October 29, 2012

Its been a long 72 hours

however Sandy decided she only wanted to stay for a short time.  But she did make the trees dance quickly and the islands are flooded to the max.  There are many families and businesses without power. 
I do not write much about work on my blog however I will say all the residents are safe and the staff members did a wonderful job.  We did experience some flooding and flickering of lights but nothing like the past. 
At the home front my family has been really supportive of my long hours as they do their best to understand my responsibilities at work.  Anyway, I need to catch a few zzzz's before I have to go back to work. 

Sunday, October 28, 2012

This song

has been in my head all day.  Hmmm-maybe because Sandy is bringing rain with her visit.

Here comes the rain again
Falling on my head like a memory
Falling on my head like a new emotion
I want to walk in the open wind
I want to talk like lovers do
I want to dive into your ocean
Is it raining with you
So baby talk to me
Like lovers do
Walk with me
Like lovers do
Talk to me
Like lovers do
[ Lyrics from: ]
Here comes the rain again
Raining in my head like a tragedy
Tearing me apart like a new emotion
I want to breathe in the open wind
I want to kiss like lovers do
I want to dive into your ocean
Is it raining with you
So baby talk to me
Like lovers do
Here comes the rain again
Falling on my head like a memory
Falling on my head like a new emotion
(Here is comes again, here it comes again)
I want to walk in the open wind
I want to talk like lovers do
I want dive into your ocean
Is it raining with you

Friday, October 26, 2012

Dear Sandy

you really do not have to visit us this year.  Your sister Irene came last year and left us with terrible memories.  Please take a detour.

New Jersey is preparing for the worst and hoping for the best as a hurricane, Nor’ester and cold front are set to bring a super storm to the region early next week.
Red flags fly from a lifeguard station as Hurricane Sandy passes offshore to the east, Friday, Oct. 26, 2012, in Miami Beach, Fla.
Red flags fly from a lifeguard station as Hurricane Sandy passes offshore to the east, Friday, Oct. 26, 2012, in Miami Beach, Fla.
“We are preparing for the absolute worst and I expect that we will be prepared for what comes in the next four or five days,” Lt. Gov. Kim Guadagno said at an event in Hillsdale this afternoon.
Guadagno said Cape May County’s Office of Emergency Management has already begun ordering evacuations and colleges along the coast are also voluntarily evacuating.
Related: What you need to know if Sandy arrives in New Jersey
“It is the storm of the century,” she said. “We thought the last one was the storm of the century, but this is not only a hurricane, it’s a full moon, high-tide Nor’easter.”
Guadagno was in Hillsdale to announce a nearly $200,000 state grant that will fund infrastructure improvements to two roads, one of which – Central Avenue – is a major thoroughfare. She was serving as acting governor because Governor Christie is in North Carolina campaigning for GOP presidential nominee Mitt Romney and gubernatorial candidate Pat McCrory. But Guadagno said Christie would be back this evening and would be in charge throughout the weekend when the storm is expected to hit.
Hillsdale Mayor Max Arnowitz said he has asked the state to request that United Water lower the water level at its reservoir in Woodcliff Lake, to help mitigate damage in flood-prone areas of the borough. But Guadagno said it’s too early to say whether the state would order the water company to lower it’s four reservoirs in the state.
“That is one of the many issues on the check list that we have to discuss and we haven’t made any decisions yet,” she said. “We’re still tracking the storm, we’re still getting ready for the storm. We’re prepared to make that decision if as the storm comes forward it’s required or appropriate.”
Guadagno said state Cabinet members have already had meetings with emergency management officials in the region today. The state commissioner of transportation was at the Regional Operations Intelligence Center at state police headquarters today in preparation of the storm and the National Guard are on call should they be needed.
“We learned a lot of lessons from Hurricane Irene,” she said. “One of the lessons was to follow a set, set of procedures to prepare for the worst and hope for the best. We’re already engaged in preparing for the worst. We are constantly tracking the storm.”
Arnowitz said Hillsdale is also prepared for the worst. He said the Department of Public Works spent Friday picking up leaves in flood-prone areas and clearing storm drains and he has authorized extra staff and over-time if it’s needed to handle the storm. He said emergency services personnel were meeting Friday afternoon to discuss storm response plans and residents will be getting phone calls urging the to evacuate if they live in low-lying areas.
He said the fire department volunteers would also be going door-to-door Sunday suggesting people evacuate flood-prone areas.
“We’re ready,” he said. “The generators are all gassed up. I hope we don’t have to use them.”
Guadagno, who lives in Monmouth County, also urged residents to be prepared and evacuate early, with plans to stay out of their homes for several days.
“If you live on the coast like I do, you know a full moon, high-tide Nor’easter is the absolute worst case scenario, add to that right now Hurricane Sandy – you need to be prepared,” she said.

staff writer Hayes

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Hugged or Unhugged

“A child needs both to be hugged and unhugged. The hug lets her know she is valuable. The unhug lets her know that she is viable. If you’re always shoving your child away, they will cling to you for love. If you’re always holding them close, they will cling to you for fear."

Billy Graham

Sunday, October 21, 2012


There was a void in my day today.

I wanted to call
I wanted to text you
I wanted to celebrate with you
I wanted to give you a "between you and me" birthday card
I wanted to tell you

Happy Birthday!


Thursday, October 18, 2012

Any suggestions

on where to adopt from?  I am talking with two different adoption agencies but I do not have peace.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Breast Cancer Month

In memory of my Aunt Terri who passed way due to  breast cancer a few years ago.  We loved singing this song together. I miss everything about you: your love, voice, laugh, persona, and smell.  Until we meet again- My my my i yi woo (remember throw your head back when you say- woo)

My Sharona

Ooh my little pretty one, pretty one.
When you gonna give me some time, Sharona?
Ooh you make my motor run, my motor run.
Gun it comin' off the line Sharona
Never gonna stop, give it up.
Such a dirty mind. Always get it up for the touch
of the younger kind. My my my i yi woo. M M M My Sharona...

Come a little closer huh, ah will ya huh.
Close enough to look in my eyes, Sharona.
Keeping it a mystery gets to me
Running down the length of my thighs, Sharona
Never gonna stop, give it up. Such a dirty mind.
Always get it up for the touch
of the younger kind. My my my i yi woo. M M M My Sharona...

When you gonna give it to me, give it to me.
It is just a matter of time Sharona
Is it just destiny, destiny?
Or is it just a game in my mind, Sharona?
Never gonna stop, give it up.
Such a dirty mind. Always get it up for the touch
of the younger kind. My my my i yi woo. M M M My Sharona...

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Breaking news

Today Carson tied his own shoes for the first time. 

Monday, October 15, 2012

Its better

to give than receive.

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Three things

I want my children to have: 
deep love for God
and a strong work ethic.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

42 years ago

today my parents got married.  Happy Anniversary!

Monday, October 8, 2012

The adoption questions begin

Tonight Carson wanted to know if his other family was worried about him?  He also asked if they missed and loved him?  My heart is not ready for the adoption questions.

From Bethel Ministries

Dear Family in Christ,

It's that time of year where classes are finishing up for the term. It's been a great year for the ones that could study! There are many more that would like the opportunity as well, and now is the time to register them for next year! Please take a look at the attachment for some photos and info. Thanks for taking the time, and caring for these little ones here in Guatemala.
If you can't open the attached file, or would like to share with just a link, please go to our blog:
If you feel led, will you please share with your friends as well, We would really like to see many children given the opportunity to study in the coming year! Thanks!
Your hands in Guatemala,
Chris and Donna

Christopher and Donna Mooney
Bethel Ministries International
Chimaltenango, Guatemala
ph. 575 519-1098 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting 575 519-1098 end_of_the_skype_highlighting ( U.S. skype number that forwards to Guatemala)
t/fax: 011 502 7839-1513
P.O. Box 573 Reserve, NM 87830

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Baseball theme 1st birthday party



Saturday we attened Lyric's first birthday party. The theme of the party was baseball hence the shirts. Cinderella had a 'thing' for the birthday boy as she was rubbing his head and touching his arms. Carson was busy jumping in the bounce house with his girlfriend Sophia.
Overall it was a fun time.