Do not take your eyes off the wheel...

51 Things

Over the past few days I have thought about 51 different 'things' about me. They are in no special order.

1. I hated having red hair until I was older.

2. I love to hear people laugh.

3. I use to be afraid of the elderly.

4. I'm a Nursing Home Administrator (go figure!)

5. I use to drive a Yellow Lexus IS 300 (which I really loved)

6. I had three boyfriends in middle school with the name Tommy.

7. My Dad and I talk on the phone everyday.

8. We talk about everything and anything.

9. In grade school I had braces, glasses and red hair (aw, what a sight!)

10. I have a hard time trusting people.

11. Shopping for clothing and shoes is very difficult for me(size 00 and size 4
shoe)

12. Jonathan and I got married October 25, 2010 in Fla before a very romantic cruise.

13. Guatemala is calling my name.

14. Carson is a lifesaver

15. My Mom and I need to spend more time together.

16. I've owned horses for the past twenty five years.

17. Cruising is my favorite type of vacation.

18. I tried smoking a few times. (Yuck! I choked every time)

19. I wish I spent more time with my Grandparents (on both sides)

20. I am named after my Grandmother on my Dad's side.

21. Public pools make me ill.

22. Spending time with Joey is one of my favorite things to do.

23. He is the funnest brother I know...

24. I always desired a home full of kids.

25. I would love to adopt twins.

26. Age... I never tell people how old I am. How old am I? PLEASE DO NOT ANSWER!

27. I am the middle child. I have an older sister and a younger brother.

28. I am very thankful Carson has Tracey as an Aunt

29. I think eating is a waste of time.

30. friends...I only have a few really good friends.

31. AW, I can not stand to hear people chew their food.

32. I worked at Acme Super Market all through high school and college.

33. I think there is more to life...I am trying to find it.

34. The only reason I live in New Jersey is because of my family.

35. In big group settings I am very quite.

36. Most people think I am snobby but if I have nothing worth talking about I do not talk.

37. I dislike small talk.

38. My first puppy "ruffles" I brought home in a basket which was on the front of my bike.

39. After 10:00pm, I turn into the wicked witch of the west. I am working on it.

40. I love going to professional ice hockey games.

41. Rod Stewart is my favorite. I have seen him over a dozen times. (Tonight's the night)

42. There are parts of my life, I would love to do over again.

43. I dream about heaven.

44. I am not ready to go yet....

45. Jonathan and I had are first date in Cape May.

46. My Dad and I could sit and people watch for hours.

47. Power walking is my excerise of chose.

48. Sloowww walkers drive me crazy.

49. I love to hear Shauna's stories about her day at school.

50. I can not stand being cold and wet.

51. Do not buy me gifts...just spend time with me.

Carson keeps us laughing

Mom, Can you get me some meatballs?
Carson, we do not have meatballs.
yes, we do! We had them on Tuesday.
No we did not Carson.
Mom, be a good helper and get me meatballs.

Carson its time for your bath.
No Mommy, I am playing soccer
Carson two more minutes.
ok
Carson lets go. its time to get in the tub
No I amit Mom = (No I am not)

Mom, Look
Daddy gave me the little commode for the t.v.

Dad, Mommy is not being a good helper!

PopPop, I have number 100 on my face.
Really, Carson. For waht?
I am in the football pool. ( I have no idea)

Mommy, can I watch Charlie Brown's Balentines movie.

Hey Mom!

Tonight Carson and I were watching the Olympics when he said, "Hey Mom, I like Haley". My heart started beating a mile a minute and my eyes filled up with tears. Here is the conversation:

G: Really Carson?
C: Yes Hers name is Haley
G: Is she cute?
C: Hers wears glasses and colors beautiful.
G: Aw, Carson I love you.

The conversations we are having lately scares the heck out of me. Carson is growing up so quickly. I try to savor each minute with him.

Happy belated Valentine's day and bowling

Happy belated Valentine's day. I hope everyone enjoyed their love day. We sure did. As usual we went to Sunday school and church. We quickly grabbed unhealthy hoagies from WAWA as we had five teenagers over for lunch. After lunch the teenagers went home we all took naps. Nothing is better than a lazy Sunday afternoon nap. That evening we went bowling at king pin lanes. This was the first time Carson has ever bowled. Carson wore size seven bowling shoes and bowled with a three pound bright orange bowling ball. He would not allow anyone to help him. He is such a brute! Overall he did extremely well and we all had a great time. After bowling we enjoyed a nice dinner at Olive Garden. Needless to say it was a long fun family evening and we were out way past Carson's bedtime.

Carson's pony and snow pictures

The shadow

For the past few years I have been walking with a dark shadow that will not go away. Everywhere I turn, I see the shadow as it lingers all around me. I have prayed about it, sought counseling, dreamt about it, found myself driving for hours thinking and replaying conversations and memories in my head. I have turned it over to the Lord however its still following me. What is the deal? I thought I moved on with my life. I can not call "K" to make it right, I can not apologize as nothing will change. There are so many times throughout the course of the week that I want to talk with "K" and share stories and laughs. I can not call and get hurt again, I can not call with false hopes and desires things would be the same. I am tainted. The other part about the above is the luggage I carry with relationships in general. I am very guarded with all. I fully understand, in order to make a relationship work it takes two. I also understand that I had something to do with the relationship going south but to end it...
I am not posting this for my blog friends to reply with they are "sorry" its more to put my feelings on paper and show that I have pain in my life as well.

Go away snow

I am over it! This was one of N.J.'s worst snow storms in years. We received over 18 inches of snow. Needless to say, Jonathan and I were transporting employees to and from work, my Dad plowed my work's parking lot, Shauna watched Carson, and the horses were in their stalls for 48 hours with 20 minutes on the cross-ties while I cleaned their stalls.
Today Jonathan took Carson out in the snow while I took care of the horses. Carson loved it! He laughed and ran so hard he could hardly stand up. Once I was done with the horses I joined in on the fun. We made snow angels, played tackle and had snow races. It was fun, but come on sunshine.
I need to give thanks and praise to the Lord. We did not lose power(as many did), we were safe driving, our Honda Ridgeline did incredible in the snow (highly recommend).
Per the local weather station, we are supposed to get another snow storm on Wednesday. As we were driving to the horse stable today, I was dreaming about being in Guatemala. I love being so close to my family however I truly feel a calling to Guatemala. Its very hard to put into words, however its getting stronger everyday. I am not sure how I would ever tell my parents- We are moving..
Guess what? I would NEVER have to deal with a snow storm again. That sounds so wonderful!!

wordless wednesday-dreaming of summer