Friendship

This isn't Greta Jo, this is Becca (Ella's mom, Becca Bluegrass). I want to tell you about friendship.

But let's start from the beginning.

2007I want to share a little about all of the blessings that come from adoption. I knew that adoption would make me a mother, but I never thought it would make me a friend and a sister.

**Added Note - These pictures are not in order and it is driving me absolutely INSANE, but I can't fix it. Do you see what Gret has to put up with??**

2012

In 2006 I traveled to Guatemala to bring my daughter home. I had previously experienced a failed adoption and I didn't handle it well. I didn't participate in any of the forums, groups, etc. that other people did. It made me sad to see all of the Pink announcements people were receiving and hear about the milestones for other families come and go. I know that's ugly, but it is the truth. To the ones who are still waiting, to the mothers without children in their arms, you're in my prayers.

2011

BUT all of that changed when Ella came home. I started my own blog and started reading other blogs about adoption and Guatemala. I stumbled across Gret's and felt an immediate kinship. At that time she was a single mother to Carson. I was amazed at her faith and strength. We began talking on the phone...and we began talking about what we could do to give back to the country that had delivered our prayers.

2008 We decided to meet and plan our trip back. Gret had been following Dick Rutgers/Chris & Donna Mooney/Bethel Ministries and we wanted to participate in their ministry. So, she, Jonathan and Carson traveled to Kentucky. At that time I was still married. The three of them get out of their car and they are all dressed in plaid - very different than than my family - we were all dressed in tye-dye. This continues to crack me up.

2009 We went to Guatemala in 2008. It was the first time I had ever been to Antigua and the first time I had ever been to Hermano Pedro. We all cried as we toured the facility. Bed after bed, metal crib after metal crib. After we walked out of the malnutrition ward we couldn't contain the sadness that we felt - we couldn't contain the thankfulness that we felt - our babies were home and safe with full tummies. My sister Angela prayed as we all cried. Gret and I hugged and held one another during the prayer. I loved sharing this time with her - she KNEW what it is like - she felt the SAME feelings that I felt..

2008

She shares other insecurities and anxieties with me. She and I are walking a similar path. I am so thankful that adoption brought us together as sisters to be there for one another, to love one another and to have on each other to count on. Believe me - I am quite a responsibility to have - and she takes this responsibility on without hesitation and with open arms.

2011

We fell in love with the women and children at Hermano Pedro. We traveled together again in 2009 to see our new friends. We were grateful that Carson and Ella were home, but when we look into the faces of our children we see hundreds that were left behind staring back at us. The Lord told us and continues to tell us that we are called to travel there in His name to deliver His love and I'm thankful to Bethel Ministries for giving me the chance to do this.

2009

In 2011 we traveled back. This was a different kind of trip for me. I had never been part of an organized mission trip to Guatemala before. I had only gone down there before on my own schedule. This was much different - Chris and Donna Mooney worked with Jonathan and Greta Jo to set our schedule. Man, this was much different!

2011 More people to travel with - people who didn't know me. This made me extremely nervous. I have, at times, severe anxiety that can cause me to have panic attacks. They are harmless, but very scary to experience and they embarrass me. I never would have traveled with people I don't know if Greta Jo hadn't been there to literally hold my hand through the entire time. It brought us even closer together. We talked about being an adoptive mother, we talked about going from being a family of four down to a family of two (side note - divorce sucks), we talked about how it is to go from a family of two to a family of six. We talked about physically carrying a baby and we talked about physically losing a baby. We talked about the different kinds of pain that we both experience. We talked, and we talked and we talked. And we bonded.

2011

Just a few weeks ago she asked if I could come to visit her in New Jersey. The group was getting together to show a recap of our trip at their church. I told her that I doubted I would be able to afford the time or money. She and I text and email frequently. She mentioned it several times and each time I saw nothing but barriers in front of me. I listed them in my head while wishing the whole time I would be able to go and see her, to hold her hand and to feel the love of my sister by choice.

2012 One morning I was at work sitting in my office crying like a baby. I realize that my problems are tiny compared to the load that others carry, but at that moment I was feeling the full weight and burden of all of them and it overwhelmed me so much I could barely handle it. Then Jesus stepped in. I looked up and had an email from Gret asking if she could buy my ticket. She wanted to see me. She wanted to see me so much that she would actually buy my ticket. And let me tell you - right now I am not a very giving and happy friend. She knew that I would be coming with anxieties, with burdens, with tears - and that I would be a very needy friend who might not have much to give to her in return. Knowing that someone like Gret loved me that much took me from being overwhelmed in a bad way to being overwhelmed in good ways. Her love and her generosity... I don't have the words to describe...

I got back from New Jersey yesterday afternoon. Although I am still overwhelmed and anxious and sad and mad, I don't feel the same sadness as I did last week. I feel loved. I feel loved by Gret, by Jonathan, by Shauna, by Carson and by Greta Rebecca - who happens to be the most beautiful and happy baby I have ever met! I loved getting to see the Guate 2011 team again. We all have a bond that we will forever carry with us. Isn't God good? Peace and Hugs,
Becca