Saturday, June 18, 2011

Not myself

For the past couple of days I have not been myself...
I feel-
very tired
confused about future plans with work, more children, selling our home
songs make me cry
wanting to fit into my jeans again
I need to express my feelings to someone who really hurt me
I am so in love with my children
I need a routine
I need to move on
I can not wait to start riding again
Kyndel is really starting to show her age and it scares me as she has been my faithful companion for years.
Summer is here and I need to enjoy it
I am full of emotions


Reba said...

Hugs to you. I wish we could just sit and chat. I want you to know this is all VERY normal and it won't last forever. Well, some of it like the love of children will. :) Sleep deprivation and hormones...they are both VERY hard on the body. I often look back at those times in my life with amazement. I don't even know who I was during that time and why I felt things so deeply. A lot of it will pass, I promise. Hold on to that promise.

Leah Maya Benjamin said...

Even without the hormones and I htink new birth brings all this on. I'm soooo glad we are past the newborn stage, I was very tired for a while but now all is much much better. You've had alot of emotional changes. I know you need to let go of the pain and hurt caused to you but when its someone you love and trusted I'm not sure how you do that, time I guess.
Old pets are sooo stressful, you never want to loose them when you no your time is shortening with them, They are so painful to loose but I guess must bring us a ton of love and joy because we keep doing it to ourselves.

Erin said...


Please know this is normal. Please know you're in my prayers. Please know it's all ok to feel this way and no one is judging you for it. Please know how very loved you are!

Bobbi said...

This is normal, keep an eye on it, and if you or anyone else is concerned, see the doctor. Postpartum blues are normal, but postpartum depression is real.

I have a feeling that you will be just fine. I remember those first weeks/months all so well. You crave schedule, routine, predictability.......your old life of clothes, and just life. Then, you feel guilty for feeling that way. You worry, cry, laugh, just feel overwhelemed. Let it out, but know it is normal. Our bodies after childbirth (and adoption completion too, I found) are a mess. Not sure where to go/be. Give it time. You will fit into your jeans, and when you can ride again, it will help you.

Hugs and prayers to you. take help and get rest!!